Air Travel

Episode blurb
Dunces / Tim's Tips to Beat the Heat / 80s Stand-Up Comedy / Dealing with Celebrities on Planes / Surviving a Plane Crash / Basing Your Life on Sex and the City / Angela Lansbury: Babe of the Week / The Mile High Club or Having Sex in a Tiny Public Bathroom / Tim and Tom Solve Your Loud College Kids Problems [...]

Running Gags

 * It's "so hot" in the room
 * Horses on a plane or Tim is scared of horses (first mention)

Quotes
Tim: "Don't you dare. You can say what you want about me, do not use the D word."

Tom: "Dunce?"

Tim: "I hate it, I hate it!"

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Tim: "When I'm drunk in an airplane, I get very introspective. If you're terrified of airplanes? get drunk and accept your imminent death."

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Tom: "..'Oh, did you hear Tom died? Yeah, in an airplane accident. No, it didn't crash, he didn't put on his seatbelt.'"

Tim: "That'd be an unlikely way to die on an airplane. It's more likely to be, 'Oh, did you hear Tom died? Died on an airplane. He was uh, trampled by a wild horse'."

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Tim: "A horse to me on an airplane is terrifying for some reason!"

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Tom: "I was gonna say, what a weird thing, but then I thought about it, and you'd be fucked if there was a horse on a plane."

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Tom: "You ever get kicked by a horse?"

Tim: "Of course not, that kills you!"

Tom: "Well that was my point, you wouldn't be here today."

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Tim: "Do you have any thoughts on the Mile High Club, Tom?"

Tom: "At the end of the day it's just having sex in a bathroom."

Tim: "It seems skeevy. I don't like the whole 'notch on the belt' kinda thing."

Tom: "Then what are all those notches on your headboard?"

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Tom: "It's like, you can have this day-old McDonald's cheeseburger now, or you can wait a half an hour and have an amazing cheeseburger."

Tim: "That's a less exciting hamburger. That's a hamburger where there's no danger of somebody walking in while you're eating it."

***