Facial Hair

Episode blurb
In this week's episode we cover the often-requested topic of facial hair. Listen and learn as we discuss everything you need to know about maintaining a beard /mustache or keeping your face silky smooth. We also discuss: - dwarves dressing up like Yosemite Sam - the seedy underbelly of celebrity look-alike businesses - spending hundreds [...]

Quotes
Tom: "I can't help but notice that there's something different about you."

Tim: "You and every goddamn person I've come in contact with."

***

Tim: "In college I had my beard and one of those green hats, and someone came up to me and was all, 'Fuck you! Castro is a murderer!'"

***

Tim: "People have been calling me baby face for years, but that's because of all of the music I produced under the name Babyface."

***

Tim: "Then there are the other people who are like, 'Oh my GOD, Tim, thank GOD you shaved the beard ...' - they make me feel bad. It's not like I just grew it for a month then shaved it off ... I had it the entire time these people knew me!"

***

Tom: "That would have been hysterical, if you'd had beard tan lines."

***

Tim: "You are a rube. And I'll tell everyone why you are a rube. You think you're having this luxurious shaving experience, but you really just went into a high-end bullshit place in the mall and let them sell you a bunch of stupid shit."

***

Tim: "How much did this badger-hair brush cost you?"

Tom: "Oh, like, 100 bucks."

Tim: "Really?"

Tom: "Yeah."

Tim: "REALLY?! ... You bought a $100 brush to apply shaving cream to your face? You aristocrat piece of shit!"

***

Tom: "In highschool, if you remember, I had a goatee."

Tim: "I remember that. I thought you were a nark."

***

Tim: "Probably twice a day, they shave their face to get this pencil-thin beard. It's a douchemark on your face! Is douchemark a word?"

Tom: "I think you just made it up."

Tim: "It's the mark of a douchebag. A douchemark."

***